Fellow married couples – repeat after me… “Date nights are important”! Again – with feelings – “Date nights are important”.
This marriage advice is one of my favorites and I was so ecstatic to hear this again from an inspirational Christian couples in the Parenting Seminar that we attended last week.
We all knew this – us for one have heard about it couple of times in the past and at one point we said to ourselves we need to do that, but then – schedules got too cramped up, baby came, there were loads of other stuff to accomplish, getting busy in the ministry and before we knew it, we have unknowingly set this aside.
But thank God for the reminder, now we decided to set our weekly exclusive date nights just for the two of us 🙂 Wohooo!!! I am sooo happy about this at the same time I realize there are loads of positive benefits to it and I would like to share it with my fellow married friends and perhaps the Lord will also speak to you just as how it ministered to us.
There are 4 points why I personally believe that it is good to have exclusive husband and wife date nights:
- For husbands – It is a way of constantly pursuing/courting your wife
Romance should not stop after you said I do. It is very important to constantly pursue your wife and one of the most effective way is to regularly take her out on a date.
Proverbs 18:22 said – He who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives FAVOR from the Lord. So let this be a reminder to husbands – you’ve got a FAVOR from God and that is your wife – and I think I need not to elaborate further on this but I guess you should know what to do next 🙂
On a lighter note, – having regular date nights – will also give your wife a chance to doll up herself, put make up and dress up and will let her feel confident about herself all over again. Trust me – after kids, admit it or not, we wives had those thoughts of “parang losyang na ata ako”, “ni hindi man lang ako makapag-ayos”. Having a regular date nights with your wife will allow her to show off her kagandahan all over again 🙂
- For wives – You make your spouse feel that they are important
This goes both ways – but let me reiterate on the part of the wives, more often than not – once you have kids, there is a huge tendency to put aside your husbands, it’s becoming all about the kids, what they need, what you can do for them and unknowingly we take our husbands for granted. Having date nights will make your spouse feel that they are important –Setting aside that special time is a huge leap (especially with those having young kids) he can have all your focus again even for just a couple of hours 🙂 No running after the kids, no chores to take up your time – it is just you and your husband. This will greatly contribute in filling each other’s love tank.
- It is healthy for the relationship –
Strengthening the bond/relationship between husband and wife should be a priority to maintain unity and security of the family. This is one of the reason why I believe spending quality time with each other is a must between husbands and wives and both parents with your kids. There is a saying that – you make time for things that matters, so if your spouse matters to you – you should make time for him/her.
Spending quality time with your spouse can be considered as a maintenance 🙂 Even some of our material possessions requires maintenance, your car needs maintenance, your AC needs maintenance, what more your relationship as a couple – that too requires maintenance for it to last long and forever. A weekly or a monthly date will help to remind each other why you chose each other to be your partner in life in the first place. Be your spouse confidante – Having an open and honest relationship with your spouse is important to the health of your marriage.
- You can share thoughts on your family’s financial goals and plans
You can also take your date nights as an opportunity to lay down and discuss your financial goals and plans for the family. It is necessary that both husbands and wives are in the same phase with regards to the financial goals for the family – when do you plan to build a house, what prospective family business can you pursue, which areas can you cut down on expenses and even when do you need to replace a furniture or an appliance should be discussed together to avoid misunderstanding concerning finances. Having only the husband or only the wife to decide on these matters is not healthy because it would mean that you don’t trust each other’s points of view with regards to finances. There will be cases, the wife only spend spend spend while the husband is struggling to save up for the next family project or even vice versa – that will be a pain. But if you are openly discussing your financial status and plans – together, hand in hand you can effectively achieve your goals.
This blog post doesn’t intend to offend anyone or compare this couple to another couple. I just feel the need to share this to inspire and encourage fellow married couples to do something good amongst your own spouses and set a special time with each other that will help nurture your relationship as husband and wife. And another point, the connotation of the word “date” often links it to extravagant dinners, candlelight settings, fine dining and the list goes on… BUT BIG NO – Date with your spouse doesn’t have to be expensive – it may not even require you to spend a dime – a walk in the park, strolling in malls, biking, star gazing at the corniche – it is also your chance to let out the creative side of you and think of something extraordinary and yet special for your spouse.
Where you go or what you eat is not important – it is who you are with and why are you doing it – is what matters most. And a reminder from my previous post – “If you want to become a good parent to your kids, you should strive first to be a good husband or a good wife first”. And this, is one of the step we wish to undertake to be able to perform our roles better as husband and wife.